I Do and She Does Too

For most people, when they're with someone they truly love and are committed to, there comes a time when they want to let everyone else know what their relationship status is. What better way to do that than a clearly visible symbol and the ultimate relationship "label". I'm talking about a ring and marriage of course. For Erin and I that time came. It seemed to be a little surprising for some as we are both fresh out of past relationships relative to the length we were in them. To those people I would say that just because someone still appears to be in a relationship doesn't mean it didn't end long before everyone else finds out about it, and certainly before its officially over in the eyes of the court system. Also very few people know our whole story which is just the way it is going to stay. And for anyone with any doubts at all, spend more than 10 minutes watching us with each other and its incredibly apparent: its love, very real, meaningful, love and the commitment to making each other happy that marriage should be about. 

We've known we wanted to get married for some time now. It was an eventuality that was discussed at least in a very preliminary way before I moved the thousand miles from Enid, OK to Oconto, WI. The type of ceremony it should be was also discussed as we moved forward with the idea. Nothing big and fancy was our attitude. I had done the whole black and white, church thing before and wasn't looking for that again. The overdone 'look at me' attention was never Erin's style. Her first was on a beach in Jamaica while on vacation with just her ex. No, big wasn't for us. We decided on a backyard ceremony and party with a small group of friends and family in September instead. As we started to plan that out though, even that much of a ceremony seemed to be over-the-top for us. And to be honest, we couldn't wait that long. We have a relationship history of blowing through carefully laid out plans to get closer to each other. That's what you do when you're crazy in love right? 

After our Oklahoma vacation (read all about it here: Part 1, 2, & 3) we started really talking about bumping up the date. We already had a weekend get away planned to go to a concert and it simply just made the most sense when Erin suggested we do it right before. It could be used as a little honeymoon. And a quick and easy, low-key ceremony was exactly what we wanted. One little trip to the county clerk to get a marriage license and date set and we were in business. 

Friday July 24th was the day. Erin's mom, Karen, and stepfather, Steve, along with her dad, Glen, and stepmother, Babsy, were able to come up and be there. But before we went we had to get everyone ready.

Chelsea getting her Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle ribbon sown into place on her dress.

Snuck this one of the bride

Karen, Erin, Chelsea, and Clayton

With everyone ready we headed to the courthouse to get the license signed by the witnesses and then it was time to go before the honorable Judge Michael T. Judge. That's right, Judge Judge.

Chelsea spent the entire ceremony smushed between us.

Clayton getting the ring.

A moment with my new stepdaughter.

Well of course you have to take at least a few wedding pictures right? Lake Michigan provided us the perfect backdrop. 

Trying to get them in before Clayton's waning attention span dissolves completely.

Chelsea, always a lady, keeping it classy.

Mr & Mrs Choate

We had a nice lunch with the family at a restaurant by the bay. Karen couldn't help herself and just had to make our non-wedding at least a little bit traditional by sneaking a cake in on us. 

Afterwards we left the kiddos with their grandparents until their dad picked them up for the weekend. 

Erin has been a huge Dave Matthews Band fan since she was a teenager but had never been to see them live. This was THE concert she had always wanted to see and I was more than happy to be with her for it as I am also a huge fan. We also got to cross off another One Day.

Getting there early at Alpine Valley

The crowd filling in.

It was everything we hoped it would be and we had great night.

Settled back in here at home it doesn't feel much different. There isn't an aura of something new and grandiose. We loved each other wholeheartedly before, so much so that a piece of paper and a couple of rings wasn't going to suddenly elevate it further. So why do it then? Did we need to get married? No. We wanted to. We wanted to be husband and wife. I think there is something far more special about that than doing it because you 'need to' or feel obligated to or even just because you've been with someone so long that you do it just because. 

Ultimately for me it was about being in love. Being in love with Erin and her children and wanting to go beyond just feeling like we were a family already to actually being one in every sense including legally. While I don't get to be their father (I certainly never want to try to take anything away from their biological dad) I'll gladly accept the roll of stepdad any day. And I get to call Erin my wife. I couldn't be happier. 

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Oklahoma Part 3: Going Home

It had been a very long and busy week. Certainly it felt much more like the vacation it was instead of returning to the everyday grind of living there again. With all of the preparations for leaving early Sunday morning done, there was nothing left to do but reflect. Was Oklahoma with its wide open sky and wheat, red dirt and clay, sun baked earth and wind, wall clouds and tornado warnings, OU football and Thunder basketball, a place I had so much love for and pride in, home anymore? 

Sunday morning we packed the last little bit of luggage and said our good-byes to Nanny and Papa. Heading back it made more sense to drive straight through instead of another two day trip. Having kids meant frequent stops so we wanted to get an early start. A little before 8, with coffee and Redbull in hand, the last segment of our journey began. 

Unlike our very paced drive down this was a mad dash to the finish. No sight seeing stops (driving I-35 through Kansas made that extremely easy) and eating our meals on the road. We also decided it was time to deploy our secret sanity saving weapon: Netflix on our tablet. It wedged perfectly between our seats as if some engineer somewhere had little kids and knew exactly what the world needed. 

Still the hours dragged on as we took shifts driving. Somewhere past Des Moines Chelsea and Clayton finally slipped into naps. Peace and quiet for at least a couple of hours. We passed into Wisconsin around 6:30 and after that long in the car we needed a break. We woke the kids up and the way Clayton looked was the way we all felt. 

A nice meal at Las Palmas Mexican restaurant in Platteville was just what we needed to get us through the last 4 hours. We pulled into our driveway just shy of midnight and we were home. 

I finally had an answer. You can visit where you come from but once you leave its not home anymore. Home is where life's adventure takes you. For some its the place they have and will always live, and there is nothing wrong with that. But for me, I wanted more, I wanted different.

When I met Erin I fell in love and it wouldn't have mattered where she was from. If she had lived in Oklahoma I would have stayed there. The combination of finding the person that made me happy and getting to take the adventure I always felt I was missing is a dream come true. Wisconsin is where I live now but when I'm with Erin and Chelsea and Clayton, regardless of the where, I am home.

Oklahoma Part 2: Non-Stop

I had returned to where it had all started, the place I was born and raised. Seven months removed, would it feel like I had been gone for long or would I slip seamlessly back in? Can you ever really go home?

After settling in, getting the kids to bed, and chatting with my parents for awhile we crawled into bed to get some much needed rest. It had been a very long day and nerves were worn thin.

Saturday morning brought fresh energy and an enthusiastic start to the week ahead. After coffee and a quick run for sausage rolls and donuts we loaded up in Nanny and Papa's new truck "Big Mo" to go feed ducks at the park. It was still early but the heat and sun were beating down on us. Needed to let Chelsea and Clayton wear themselves out on the playground so they would nap so we hung out there for awhile. Dinner was a cookout with the family gathering at my sister Misty and her husband Ray's house. The kids got to meet their new aunts, Misty and Lisa, new uncles, Ray and Paul, and one of their new cousins, Olivia. She is the same age as Chelsea and all of them hit it off immediately. We decided to head back to the park so the kids could enjoy a few rides there.

The carousel did not live up to Chelsea's thrill ride expectations. 

Lisa, Olivia, and Nanny

Cousin fun

Discussing important matters of the day.

Paul, Lisa, and us

Papa and Nanny

The girls got one cart

And the boys got another

Sunday we packed into Big Mo and drove to one of Oklahoma's nice state parks: Roman Nose. But we just had to stop along the way and check out Nanny and Papa's camper to satisfy the kids obsession with camping. They keep it stored near Canton Lake and since we have chipmunks in Wisconsin the kids just had to see their Oklahoma counterpart groundhogs.

Then it was off to Roman Nose and its natural springs. Oklahoma summers are brutally hot but the water flowing out of ground is incredibly chilly. The tradition is to walk back and stick your head into this icy waterfall but the best I could get out of the kids was reaching their hand in.

Turns out Biscuit is a natural swimmer. She doesn't like it but she can do it.

 Roman Nose also has a very nice swimming pool.

And what's better than ice cream after a long day in the sun?

Papa teaching Clayton a southern accent.

This is the result: "Yee-haw Sonic ice cream"

On Monday we decided to do a truly unique-to-Oklahoma activity and go to Salt Plains and dig for crystals. I had done this a handful of times in my life but not for many years and I really didn't remember too much about it. We left the grandparents at home and took this little adventure as a family. As it turns out this was one of Erin and I's favorite parts of the entire vacation.

This seemingly unexplainable salt flat makes even flatter than flat Oklahoma seem hilly.

A previous dig hole that all of the water has evaporated from leaving only salt.

Not sure how he did it but Clayton managed to step in, sink, and get stuck in a mud hole within the first 25 ft we walked. Truly his powers as a 3 yr old hold no bound.

Let the digging begin.

The water table is only a couple feet down and you need the water to splash the sides and find crystals.

There is no way around it, you're going to get absolutely filthy if you do this.

Clayton passed out pretty quick on our way home.

Our crystals. We didn't find any really large ones but this is a nice haul.

Example of an ideally formed selenite crystal.

Some other uniquely formed examples.

Tuesday we wanted to stay in town and get the kids together with Olivia. We visited Leonardo's Children Museum in Enid, which is really a great place to keep kids entertained all day long. There is a huge outdoor play structure and park and inside they have a wide selection of areas to explore.

Nice face there Chelsea

The coolest Lite Brite I have ever seen.

The attendant in this section was awesome and got out nearly every animal they had so the kids could pet them.

A giant maze they crawled through.

It was also Erin's birthday on Tuesday. Let's just say she's been 29 for a couple years running now. My parents took the kids so that we could go out and have a nice evening. We had a nice dinner and found some live music to enjoy for the evening.

The beautiful birthday girl.

By this point you're probably thinking "they have got to slow down at some point" but you'd be wrong. Wednesday we met up with Lisa and Olivia for some fun at Enid's 'water park.' It's not terrible but a little maintenance and some sprucing up would go a long way. The kids loved it though and since we had told them we would go before we even left Wisconsin, we had to deliver. 

Another item on our must do was to take Erin to Eskimo Joe's so she wouldn't feel like a poser when she wore the shirt I had bought her last year. We also needed a load of Joe's cups to take home as I had only brought 4 when I moved north and we had all been fighting over them ever since. Thursday we drove over to Stillwater for lunch.

That night Chelsea and Clayton slept over at my sister Misty's house while E and I went to hang out with some of my old friends. This was the first time any of them had met her so of course we had to have a good time. Beer and food at one place and more booze at another. To say we may have overdone it is putting it mildly. We definitely did. But I think it was worth it and gave my friends there the chance to see just how special Erin and what we have is. There was hesitation and concern from most as my decision to leave everything behind and move north shocked everyone. And it was important for Erin to meet them and get to know who my friends were along with just where I was from. We paid a price for the fun though.

Thankfully Nanny and Papa stepped up and took the kids off of our hands the next morning and afternoon. We finally slowed down on Friday, not because we chose to, but because we were physically incapable of any adventures that day. The local country club does their fireworks show on the 3rd of July so people can go enjoy the larger show on the 4th at a park in town. This show can be seen from my parent's back yard so we all pulled up chairs and oohed and awed to close out an easy day.

The 4th was our last day in town and we took another day for rest. Dinner and a birthday party for my niece Shelby at Paul and Lisa's house was the only thing on the agenda. Erin and I washed laundry and prepacked as much as we could while the kids played hard with their new grandparents. 

The day wound down and as we prepared to head out early I finally found a little time to think about that question again. Can you really ever go home?