I Do and She Does Too

For most people, when they're with someone they truly love and are committed to, there comes a time when they want to let everyone else know what their relationship status is. What better way to do that than a clearly visible symbol and the ultimate relationship "label". I'm talking about a ring and marriage of course. For Erin and I that time came. It seemed to be a little surprising for some as we are both fresh out of past relationships relative to the length we were in them. To those people I would say that just because someone still appears to be in a relationship doesn't mean it didn't end long before everyone else finds out about it, and certainly before its officially over in the eyes of the court system. Also very few people know our whole story which is just the way it is going to stay. And for anyone with any doubts at all, spend more than 10 minutes watching us with each other and its incredibly apparent: its love, very real, meaningful, love and the commitment to making each other happy that marriage should be about. 

We've known we wanted to get married for some time now. It was an eventuality that was discussed at least in a very preliminary way before I moved the thousand miles from Enid, OK to Oconto, WI. The type of ceremony it should be was also discussed as we moved forward with the idea. Nothing big and fancy was our attitude. I had done the whole black and white, church thing before and wasn't looking for that again. The overdone 'look at me' attention was never Erin's style. Her first was on a beach in Jamaica while on vacation with just her ex. No, big wasn't for us. We decided on a backyard ceremony and party with a small group of friends and family in September instead. As we started to plan that out though, even that much of a ceremony seemed to be over-the-top for us. And to be honest, we couldn't wait that long. We have a relationship history of blowing through carefully laid out plans to get closer to each other. That's what you do when you're crazy in love right? 

After our Oklahoma vacation (read all about it here: Part 1, 2, & 3) we started really talking about bumping up the date. We already had a weekend get away planned to go to a concert and it simply just made the most sense when Erin suggested we do it right before. It could be used as a little honeymoon. And a quick and easy, low-key ceremony was exactly what we wanted. One little trip to the county clerk to get a marriage license and date set and we were in business. 

Friday July 24th was the day. Erin's mom, Karen, and stepfather, Steve, along with her dad, Glen, and stepmother, Babsy, were able to come up and be there. But before we went we had to get everyone ready.

Chelsea getting her Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle ribbon sown into place on her dress.

Snuck this one of the bride

Karen, Erin, Chelsea, and Clayton

With everyone ready we headed to the courthouse to get the license signed by the witnesses and then it was time to go before the honorable Judge Michael T. Judge. That's right, Judge Judge.

Chelsea spent the entire ceremony smushed between us.

Clayton getting the ring.

A moment with my new stepdaughter.

Well of course you have to take at least a few wedding pictures right? Lake Michigan provided us the perfect backdrop. 

Trying to get them in before Clayton's waning attention span dissolves completely.

Chelsea, always a lady, keeping it classy.

Mr & Mrs Choate

We had a nice lunch with the family at a restaurant by the bay. Karen couldn't help herself and just had to make our non-wedding at least a little bit traditional by sneaking a cake in on us. 

Afterwards we left the kiddos with their grandparents until their dad picked them up for the weekend. 

Erin has been a huge Dave Matthews Band fan since she was a teenager but had never been to see them live. This was THE concert she had always wanted to see and I was more than happy to be with her for it as I am also a huge fan. We also got to cross off another One Day.

Getting there early at Alpine Valley

The crowd filling in.

It was everything we hoped it would be and we had great night.

Settled back in here at home it doesn't feel much different. There isn't an aura of something new and grandiose. We loved each other wholeheartedly before, so much so that a piece of paper and a couple of rings wasn't going to suddenly elevate it further. So why do it then? Did we need to get married? No. We wanted to. We wanted to be husband and wife. I think there is something far more special about that than doing it because you 'need to' or feel obligated to or even just because you've been with someone so long that you do it just because. 

Ultimately for me it was about being in love. Being in love with Erin and her children and wanting to go beyond just feeling like we were a family already to actually being one in every sense including legally. While I don't get to be their father (I certainly never want to try to take anything away from their biological dad) I'll gladly accept the roll of stepdad any day. And I get to call Erin my wife. I couldn't be happier. 

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